The empowerment of women - The other side of midnight

Today is womens’ day and empowerment of women is the buzz word.Time and again, the issue of empowerment has been debated. It is perceived that perhaps economic empowerment will bring social empowerment automatically and vice versa. During a seminar at Xaviers Institute of Management, the issue was discussed and during a group discussion, it was concluded that a father cannot be a mother and vice versa. I am aware that there are certain reservations on this concept.

It reminds me to have a quick look to the history or the mythology of this great country. From time immemorial, Aryans have treated men and women as Purush and Prakruti, as Shiva and Shakti. Meaning thereby the energy is synonym with women and strength goes with the men. When I am making a difference between energy and strength, I mean it. A person may be strong, but he may not have energy. Similarly a person may be energetic, but he or she may not have strength. Energy and strength are complimentary to each other. Similarly, man and woman are complimentary to each other in thought, word and action.

Some believe that this happens only in ideal conditions. Then what happens in exceptional conditions? Let us analyze some of the events.

Ganga left her son Bheesma the great on the seventh day of his birth and it was left to Shantanu to rear the child which was very difficult for him. It is a fact that Gangaji was quite empowered to do so. When it is argued that the mother takes all the hits for the kid, I am having other examples of empowered ladies. See in the case of Karna. After the birth of Karna from an empowered lady called Kunti, the newly born child was abandoned in a river who was reared by Adhirath. What about Ramchandra the great? Dasharatha, his father ultimately died in the sorrow of son's absence. And who sent Ramchandra to jungle? It was his mother Kaikaiye who did all the tricks.

It has to be noted that all these ladies were empowered enough to change the opinion of society as well as crown.

Let us come to the current issues which are burning in nature. An impression goes on that an urban empowered lady can take a decision on her own marriage, can wine and dine with her fellow companions and empowered to deal with law and order problems and day to day social issues. During my stay in the dense tribal areas of KBK districts in Orissa, while interacting with the NGOs as well as tribal women on formation of Self Help Groups, I had also carried these baggages with me that urban women are more empowered than illiterate and poor women of dense forest. After my continuous interaction with them, I had to change my ideas. Let me give a comparative status of both the entities as under:

Issue of empowerment

(i) Making own choice about the bridegroom and taking decision of self marriage

Tribal Women

I have observed that it is in the tradition of the tribal entities to leave the decision to the women on this vital issue. On the auspicious Pausa Pournima, the Dhangdas and Dhangdis (young boys and girls) congregate together and dance the whole night. At the end of the celebration it is the prerogative of the dhangidi to make a choice of her partner from swayamwar of men or assessment of bridegroom and take a decision about the marriage. In some tribes, the marriage takes place on the next day only and the bride is the final authority in such matters.

Urban Women

If choice of groom is parameter of women empowerment, I am yet to be convinced if at all it has percolated down in our society. Howsoever economically independent the women may be and whatever may be the social background ,predominantly it is others who decide her fate regarding selection of life partner and not the bride herself! True that the systems are changing, still there is a long way to go. Still the arranged marriage carries a premium over the love marriage in our so called society. Not to speak up swayamwar type of empowerment.

(ii)Drinking of alcohol

Tribal Women

During my stay in tribal villages, I have seen that mahuls, taddy and neera are freely taken by women along with men and nobody puts a stigma to it. They do not have any inhibition for it.

While I am not advocating that drinking should be a parameter of women empowerment, still it binds the relationships in our high society. If at all drinking in parties and dancing are the indicators of empowerment, it is plenty in tribal societies for a long time.It remains a point of view only to equalize man-woman in current fashion.

(iii)Raising the voice against atrocities

Tribal Women

My experience is that the tribal women are more vocal in registering their voices against the male folk even if against husbands in their society. I have seen a case where the woman was beaten up by the drunken husband and she went straight away to police station and gave a complaint. As a result of which the man was arrested and behold! it was the same woman who took the man in parole the very next day. While I interacted with her on the issue, she indicated that her reaction was at a point of time and now she has to face the reality.The learning point is that the definition of empowerment changes according to time,place and circumstances and the person.

Urban Women

I am sure that any urban woman will think thrice to take such a drastic step of going to police station against her husband because of various reasons. Everybody is not a Medha Patkar or Kiran Bedi. The typical Indian bahu will definitely create hindrance for her in this way to take subsequent actions. There may be any number of incidents everyday in our society which doesn't come out and the woman suffers silently from the atrocities. If at all raising the voice is an indicator for woman empowerment, we have to go a long way.There are types of Jecicca Lals who are forgotten conviniently under the rules of laws of courts.

(iv) Economic Independence

Tribal Women

The tribal women are the best examples of economic independence because they live on the forest products on a day to day basis. Ask them on liberalisation from economic slavery, they give a vague look and they don't understand.They earn their own living and some times, they are the only bread earner when husband spends every thing on wine and other women.

Urban Women

Many of us are not convinced in our heart of hearts about the economic independence of working women. It is true that they earn money but it is expected that they are supposed to spend their hard earned money on household mundanes. Our typical saas thinks that she has purchased a goose who can give golden egg and the son's money should be fully secured. The husband thinks that it is her dutiful responsibility to take care of home management so that he can concentrate on external home management and bigger issues such as politics,sports and entertainment. Not speak of wine and women,which of course is the burning issues in current soap operas.Everybody expects the working woman to be a perfect housewife as well as efficient office worker. In order to satisfy both the ends, the lady continues to burn herself.There are many cases of burnt outs and suicides in urban socities.Recent cases of Randhwa and others are eye openers for us. If this is the indication of empowerment, perhaps we have to redefine the word today.

It is no conclusion

Satpath Brahman says that a house is constructed, but a home is made and only a woman can do it. The concept of Ardhanareeshwar of Shiva and Shakti in our old system still commands the highest level of equilibrium in man-woman relationship. The wider concept of empowerment perhaps is to be relooked into keeping in view the tribal as well as current urban experience. Before we tell the empowered tribal women to be more empowered, let us look at the gaps that we have developed in our urban social system over a period of time and try to rectify it.It is apt to conclude with Robert Frost;

WOODS ARE LOVELY DARK AND DEEP

BUT I HAVE PROMISES TO KEEP

AND MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP

                                                      AND MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP.